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How many times shall I forgive?

Shortly after midnight on Feb. 2, 1997, a Chevrolet Suburban carrying six high school students ran off Colorado's C-470 and veered into oncoming traffic, striking a van head-on. The Suburban was driven by 18-year-old Katie Parsons. Neither alcohol nor speeding was involved in the accident. Witnesses told authorities that Parsons turned toward the rear of the vehicle to talk to two of her passengers shortly before the car swerved out of control.

Killed in the accident were the driver of the van, Thomas Butler, 47, a husband and father of three. Also killed was Jeremy Bottoms, 16, a passenger in Parsons' vehicle.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." Matthew 18:21-22

Farland Bottoms, father of Jeremy Bottoms, was present at the court hearing at which Katie Parsons was sentenced. Bottoms told Douglas County Judge James Miller that he and his wife have battled pain and rage that "pitted us against each other, our friends, and our God."

Georgiana Butler, widow of the van driver, told the judge that the accident had "wiped out our dreams." Butler is raising her three children alone.

The dictionary says that "forgive" means to give up something: to give up resentment against someone; to give up a desire to punish; to give up all claim to punish or exact penalty for an offense. The common phrase is "give up."

C. S. Lewis wrote, "There is no use in talking as if forgiveness were easy. We all know the old joke, 'You've given up smoking once; I've given it up a dozen times.' In the same way I could say of a certain man, 'Have I forgiven him for what he did that day? I've forgiven him more times than I can count.' For we find that the work of forgiveness has to be done over and over again."

When we forgive someone, whether it is an adulterous spouse, an unreasonable boss, a rebellious child, an abusive parent or an antagonistic teacher, we give up the "right to be right." But this type of forgiveness goes far beyond a mental decision; what it really requires is supernatural compassion-a compassion which cannot be understood by those looking on; a compassion which can only come from the source and author of all compassion and forgiveness, God.

This is an unfair world, in which bad things happen to many people. We may not have a choice about the things that happen to us, but we do have a choice in how we respond. We can do it the world's way, hold grudges, exact revenge, rejoice in the suffering of those who've done us wrong. Or we can do it God's way-the supernatural way-and give up all of that anger, pain, and sorrow.

In an act of what the judge called "superhuman compassion," members of the victims' families chose God's way and extended forgiveness to Parsons. "I want you to know, Katie, I forgive you," said Bottoms. "And I have no hard feelings against you." After the hearing, Bottoms strode to the defense table, took the weeping Parsons in his arms and said softly in her ear, "We'll get through this, Katie. Hang in there."

Rocky Mountain Family Council

8704 Yates Drive, Suite 205

Westminster, CO 80031

(303) 292-1800

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